take it, or leave it, i work for yours truly only.

i had never liked group assignments. it's either my way or the highway. take my advice and shut up and drive, rihanna style.

when every group member starts talking, i fade into the dark. go on. bicker. nothing will be done. and in the end, we probably won't do well.

why do i even care? i'm not the one trying to pull my grade above a certain point.

you give me work. i'll just do my part. period. i work for yours truly only. second period.

victims of our success, are we?

as i listened closely to dr kevin tan's lectures on emerging new infections, "SARS," he said, "was successfully controlled, but research on it now, is rather difficult, why?"

the class was silent (including b*rnard, oh yes *surprise of the century*, he probably could have mumbled something, but if he did, it was inaudible.......)

"because we were too successfull that the virus is hard to find now, so how can we do research without the virus itself? we are, victims of our own success" dr tan finally said.

in secondary school, i may have gotten all my A's, topped the class and what not, but i still had my fair share of detention. i've been sent to the middle of the field during assembly, caned by the discipline teacher, and almost got sent to the discipline council where 50% of the students who were sent there received suspension. oh, i wasn't any delinquent child or rebellious for that matter, i was merely, a victim, of my own success......

i remember once when i was given the task of reciting a poem during some english week thingy, just cause i was, what? yea, good in my studies, it was just plain arrowing by the teacher........probably some miscommunication or something, i thought i would be given the poem by the teacher, and yea, u probably guessed it, i was expected to find the poem, and regurtitate something out in front of God-knows how many students during the assembly.......so when the day came, i was confronted by the teacher........

"so, it's today that i'm performing?" i asked.

"err, yes, don't tell me you didn't....."

"no"

the teacher just gave me a shock and disgusted face and almost sent me to discipline council......until she realized that it would reflect so badly on her, she went to the library, magically produced a poem for me to recite........

and i wasn't sent to the discipline council. end of story.

it didn't really hit me until a few days later.......DISCIPLINE COUNCIL........

victims of our success, maybe, sometimes it's best to just be mediocre........

at this point of time, i'm quite free, but i shouldn't be......all yr 4's should NOT be free at this moment......

and yes, i'm quite done with my thesis, all that's left is the poster, that shouldn't be much of a problem, and i should start studying for my modules, and arggh, i've got to say that i've just lost the momentum to do so.......

and so when my prof emailed me saying that she's nominated me to be a valedictorian and that i've been shortlisted as a potential candidate, i was shocked.......ever since i got my first B+ in sem 2, that word never crossed my mind, ever again......not to mention that disgusting B that i got last sem, arghhh

i've to start gaining momentum, god knows whether i'd be named valedictorian........

i see stress, i see mess, i see tests but i hear screams, suicide and slashes......

if u're still ignorant abt the NTU slash cum suicide bombing by terrorists (ok, totally made up, but i got your attention!), read the papers, or just google it, minus the bombing and terrorists......

his fyp wasn't doing very well, what else can a seemingly "genius" ask for? good grades? like duh......well, it could be that he was possesed, or just went psychotic, or sleep-walking with a knife in his hand that he so happen to stab it right when his prof was not looking, and accidentally slit his wrists and jumped down (yea, fat chance!), i would say that it was pressure.......

living up to other ppl's expectations is difficult, so much so that their expectations become your own personal expectations, your own goals and destination.......his prof may not have applied the pressure on him explicitly, it's the intrinsic pressure that kills.......i, for one, am slowly learning to release some of the intrinsic pressure.......and yes, just like the urge to smoke, it's addictive, you don't get to smoke your good grades, u'd rather die, literally.......trust me, i've been there, and am still there........shit........

there are no geniuses in this world, the difference between a seemingly "genius" and an idiot is that the "genius" is obsessed with the right things and the idiot with the wrong ones.......the degree of obsession differentiates the better "genius" and luck differentiates the nobel laureate......