all good things has to come to an end, either that or it would slowly fade away.....or would you rather that that good thing never happened at all?

japan was amazing, the mere thought of having the opportunity to step foot into that country is a bliss.....the actual act of crossing one time zone is an ineffable joy.....

but ultimately, i had to leave japan.....i knew that even if i stayed there, for good, japan would not be the same as it had been, to me......

it was painful to leave, painful to hold back tears, but more excruciating to see it fade.....sometimes i wonder, maybe if i were never given that opportunity, i wouldn't need to feel pain, maybe, just maybe if it never happened at all, i would be able to live with less pain.....

yet some pain does harm superficially but leaves a beautifully carved scar that provides sweet memories and true enough, if a child feels no pain, they die early......

it hurts, it burns, it stings, so, rub it, soothe it, massage it and let it be an aesthetic feature on the body and move on......looking at the scar occasionally, rummaging through forgotten memories, smiling along the sweet faint past that was once very much alive, thinking.....how lucky i am to have such a memory.....how great it is to have such scar.....

this holiday, though short, has created the best looking scar i've ever seen and i doubt any scar in the future comes close enough to challenge it.....

2007 ends with my best memory ever......me, though not the luckiest nor the happiest man on earth, am the most satisfied of all......

today is THE day - results day......it only happens twice a year......

this semester marks the first of many things.......

my first to slack, as in slacking for the whole sem, and i kid you not......
my first to go wild......this too, i kid you not, and b4 your lower jaw dislocates due to shock, i shall not define my kind of wildness here......
my first to go japan......
my first to NOT GET AN A+ in any modules in one sem, argh............yea yea, i only have myself to blame

on top of that, i got my 2nd B+!!!!!!!!

ok, my results sound really bad when i put it that way, here's another version of telling my results:

i got 4A's and a B+......that B+ is japanese 4 and because of the current SU policy, i can SU my jap 4, so in the end, my SAP is still 5.0.......bua ha ha ha ha ha......bite me ppl

final CAP : 4.9 (at last, i see a 9 again!)

that dream came and gone, so fast......too fast in fact......

till today, i still refuse to wake up, my eyes still widely shut, my air cond simulates the winter condition, forcing myself to believe that i missed my flight back to singapore from osaka.....

in just 3 days, i made friends that i hope would last a life time, but who am i kidding? if my previous experience weren't enough to slap me with the reality that friends RARELY last more than that short phase of intimate interaction, my previous posts about relationships would be sufficient to remind me from time to time that friends do NOT last as long as one has promised.....

sad as it may seem, i am still happy i had a great time.

I got the chance to visit kobe. Well, I didn't get to taste the ever so famous kobe beef, cause 1, it burns a hole in your pocket and 2, i don't crave for beef, so why waste money?

the night view from mount maya was amazing, beautiful and awesome. Never in my life have I seen so many stars and such wonderful city lights.....

I also got the chance to visit universal studios japan(USJ). Nice place, though it looked more like America, no wonder it's called US-J.......ok, i know it's lame.

And also inunakiyama. The onsen was a little below my expectation, but never the less, it offers great scenery.

And Kyoto, ahhhhh, the temples......awesome, but i only made it to one, kinkakuji, out of God knows how many there are......so wasted.......

all those memories, will last a life time and as much as i would like the friendship to be the same too, i just know, it's just human nature.....or maybe the japanese are different? i hope........hee, but no matter what i get for my jap 4 (in which case the results will be out like, TOMORROW!), i will continue taking jap 5, for i know, japan is definitely a place where i would want to spend at least a short phase of my life there.......cause japan is THAT beautiful......

sometimes i ask God, why did You bring me to this world?

If humans were destined to suffer, why were we ever made?

I've been brought up in a not-so-devoted christian family, but still, i've been taught that God is merciful, God is love, God is a life-giver and he gives abundantly......

life isn't a bed of roses as they claim, i say, it is.....the thorns of roses justify this analogy of mine

so, do we sweep away those roses so that we can have a safe but planar mundane bed? or do we painstakingly deal with all the thorns so that only the reddest of all thornless roses remain on our only bed of life?

well it seems to me at this point of time, that sweeping away the roses altogether, is a tempting option because i got pricked so badly by probably the largest thorn i've ever seen on my bed.....

the thorn is finally removed but the scar on my hand reminds me of my mishap and when i deal with other thorns in life, i shall be wiser......

and yes you've guessed it! it is the end.......of a once endless pain......

exams are finally over.....

and no u didn't guess it......it is not the main reason for this entry.......it is about puberty and maturation.......

weird, am i not? talking about puberty at the age of 22? now who am i kidding? puberty should have been like 7 years ago! thing is, realize how young i look? i'm probably going through puberty, right now, as i write......

if u do take a closer look at me this semester, u'll probably realize that i am different from previous years......i have became more masculine-wannabe, a sudden burst of testosterone secretion, i feel weird......i started going to the gym, i started swimming, i started running, for what?

for the past 4 months, i've been battling a self conflict that sprouted out of no where for no apparent reason......and yes, i feel very weird......

i have a weird question, why now?

oh hee, all is good all is good, beside that fact that i only slept for 4 hours yesterday and have a whole chunck of mcq's left out for my paper which has just passed cause i was evidently bad in time management, yea, all is well.......now, who am i kidding?

if u should know me well, u will know that i am in a state of paranoia for missing so many questions!!!!!!!

i just want this to end......fast......

one more to go......before i embark on my trip of self discovery - things i never knew i am capable of aka i'm going wild.......

i was reading xiaxue's blog, and yea, she is one GIRL, GIRL with caps......

she's probably living the life of every girl's dream......flawless make-up, endless shopping sprees, great curls with a nice shade to go with it, awesome manicure and probably pedicure cause i saw no photos of her feet, nicely done brows and match that up with a boyfriend who could truly melt away every girl's heart with a smile (think : him singing always and forever) and photoshop skills that brushes away every accidental flaws.....she is synthetically perfect.....

and yes, she knows her best angle on camera......

and comments like "u look like a whore" would actually translate to "you are drop dead gorgeous but i'm jealous"......

she is pretty because she deserves it......

bleah, i am so dead, exams in 48 hours' time.....

i am convinced that i am the ultimate IT-idiot.....seriously, no one else can beat me to that title, i am THE IT-idiot.....no? well, u see, there's this dubious commentor on my previous post who posted something in spanish (i think it's spanish, but it's definitely not french or german, i think for some advertising or something) and i don't even know how to delete it......gosh, i went to moderate comments, then click click click, don't know where i'm heading and just acknowledged the fact that i am just too stupid with the computer......

and then last year, while i was doing my bioinformatics project (yes grace, it's your 2.7.7.7, don't worry, i'll remind u from time to time, so that u don't forget, hahahahahaha) i had a hard time copying and pasting using the touch pad on my laptop simply because i never knew the existence of ctrl-C and ctrl-V......and my friend only told me after the project was submitted, beat that ppl!

don't need to talk about my blog skin, i don't even know how to change it.....