scene : when i was going down from the 11th floor from my room to catch the bus for my exams, the lift stopped at 9th floor and the door opens.....my fingers placed firmly on the "close" button, ready to push it with all my might when anyone enters.....*poof* i saw one guy and one girl, tongue tied, i was like :

"hello? darling, exam period, rushing for exam? i know you like to show your affection publicly, i usually don't care even if u have coitus in front of me, but sweetie, I AM RUSHING FOR MY EXAMS!"

of course, being the timid me, i didn't gather enough courage to slap them with those words, i just beared with it.....

scene continued : the lovebirds slowly made their way down the aisle to the lift, as though in a church, but the thing is the aisle is just imaginary and barely 0.5 meters long, but they took forever.....

"yo, mama, hurry up!"

and of course those didn't come out from my mouth either, sigh......

but this got me thinking:

one life one love......what utter crap.....my parents' generation, maybe, our age? completely out of this world.....

don't believe me? ask yourself, have u ever loved someone? have you? have you? yes? ok, then, how many, including those that you count as crushes, whatsoever? don't LIE, it is more than one.....

the person you are going to marry in the future may not be your current gf/bf or current person of interest......as the saying goes, don't put all your apples in one basket, if it tears, u will tear.....and then move on to another basket......

oh, but i do have to give credit to those who commited suicide when their first love failed simply because they've failed to believe in the non-existance of one life one love......

gosh why am i writing this? i should be studying......it's the exam stress i tell you.....

by the way, i stay single for a good reason.....never loved, never been loved.....

there isn't a problem too big for even the slightest thought of suicide.....

exams has shown its ultimate evil, enough to cause sleepless nights, diarrhoea, arrhythmias and unnecessary regurgitation of medical terms simply because they are so well embedded in my head......kreb cycle dreams, without fail, occur during the exam period, physical shock and phobia of missing an examination, frantically calling my course mates to make sure what time the exam is and of course, what day it is (due to abnormal sleeping patterns, i totally lost track of time).....indeed, all these hardships inevitably coalesced into an unbearable clump of insufferable that clearly express itself full blast on my once radiant and acne-free visage.......till the extent that my friend had to message and ask me am i ok? any prayer request? and later quelled my worries and fears by saying that it isn't the end of the world and ending with a simple yet powerful prayer that proved to be effective psychologically.......

exams, how great thy impact on me......

BEHOLD! reading week is here! and i just have to say this again:

time passes really really fast!

and i'm still in the holiday mood (yes, read : still)......it didn't subside since may, and yes, i am so so so so so so so so so so so so so dead......

God must really bless me this semester.......

the last time i heard the word reformasi was so long ago......when i was happily watching the commonwealth games opening ceremony in KL in 1998.......

until last saturday, i patiently waited for another reformasi to *pooff* out from nowhere......not that i want one to happen, but u just have that eerie premonition that there will come a day where all hell break loose......

last saturday saw one of the worst protests ever staged in malaysia......tear gases and all......thing is, will anything change?

i don't know.........i support peace......God bless Malaysia

this entry was supposed to be in response to one of my dear friend's comment in the previous entry, but since it's so long, i might as well have a new post haha......

how many times have i been guilty of saying, i loved that module so much just because i got an A+ for it?

how many times have i been guilty of saying, i hated that module and everything that's associated with it just because i didn't do well? once, that darn vietnamese 2, i hate it! now there i go again......

same thing applies to the THES university ranking......probably those in NUS and UC Berkeley would be doubtful of how the ranking was conducted, and probably the Uni of Hong Kong would approve of the ranking......

of course, one may argue that there can never be a perfect ranking system that takes into account every single criteria in the perfect ratio, so what's the point of ranking in the first place?

it's just the human culture of having a hierarchy.......and Harvard's amazingly always on top......

i wasn't planning to blog, cause after all i should be studying for my exams......however, i really felt compelled to blog about something that i felt really surprised at first, but accepted it as a fact of life......

did u know that in the THES university ranking, NUS dropped from 19 to 33? i was thinking, oh no, i guess we'll expect a fee hike again next year (recap : the ppl up there in NUS cited the drop in university ranking in yr 2005 from 18 to 22 as a reason for the yr 2006 fee hike, imagine what will happen now given that we've dropped beyond the 30th placing)......what surprised me most was that the drop was so drastic.....i never thought that NUS would go beyond 25, let alone 30.......

this reminds me of a situation in 2004......the national (malaysian) cheerleading competition, ever since it's debut in year 2000, shirtlift from Sri Bintang Utara (or more commonly known as Bukit Bintang Girls School) never failed to grab the champion position with the 2nd place trailing behind......when they performed, u could see the difference, Sri Bintang Utara were known champions even before the results were out, they were that good......until in 2005, i was so convinced that they would win, i didn't even bother to look out for the results.....it turned out that they were unplaced in the top 3 in 2005......

on the brighter side, the US uni that my dear friend went for SEP, namely UC Berkeley, also dropped from top 10 to 22......and it took me quite some time to find where was London School of Economics, LSE dropped from 17 to 56, unbelievable......

while many are critical and doubtful of the THES ranking system, it does tell us (or me at least) that the ppl on top may fall one day.......

i may fall one day......while i would like to boldly say that i alone determine my path, my future and my position, i have to agree that some form of force controls our destiny to a certain extent, to me, it's GOD and to those of u who do not believe in one, u still have to agree that there is still some kind of force, luck perhaps?

i can only do this much......

oh no, if u've been following my blog since last last sem, u will realize that THAT week is coming, yes, THAT week when all activities cease to make way for assignment datelines, oral tests, CA's, and i ain't talking about just one module.......

and as time forces its way into week 12, lectures are getting meaningless and boring.....and as i had that mindset last monday while walking into the lecture theatre (for some lectures of course), little did i know that that lecture could possibly be one lecture i would remember.....it's just simply because my dear lecturer has a really good sense of humour, by speaking powDerful engRish......

this was what she said that made me crack up:

when the resistance is low, the buffalo is fast......

it took me a while to realize that the buffalo she meant was blood flow.......

hahaha......alright back to work......

so it has been set, after much deliberation, after many sleepless nights, after much crying and asking the person up there why why why, after staring at the computer long enough, after logging into that S/U system many times hoping that the A-'s will change to A+'s, after sighing a million times, the ultimate decision has been made, and......*highlight to see the words below, eh, suspense leh........*

it hurts me to say that.......

i'm retracting both S/U's.............

bye bye 4.92, hello 4.88 once again......

sigh......