sekarang saya ni sangat keliru.....dah nak gila dah.....kenapa S/U module ku semua terkandas, susah lah aku ni nak buat keputusan......kalau aku tarik balik kedua-dua S/U, CAP ku akan jatuh mendadak, zalim betul sistem ini......

k, enough with the malay, basically, i'm not sure whether to laugh or cry when i saw my S/Ued modules grades......

GEK1005 A-
SSA2215 A-

CAP before retracting : 4.92
CAP after retracting one : 4.90
CAP after retracting both : 4.88

what should i do?怎么办？apakah penyelesaiannya? Qu'est-ce que je dois faire? どうしようかな。。。。。。

it's a cruel world......

it's all coming back to me.......that feeling, urgh, that weird feeling

yes, it's the end of the semester......surprise surprise

and dumbledore is gay......when i read that, harry potter changed from fantasy to comedy, someone really has a sense of humour......

and pls don't tell me what happened in the end to harry potter, or i will haunt u down.....

i need more time.....

clearly, i am very sleepy, my thoughts are all over......

i've just received an email regarding a graduate biomedical science scholarship.....the scholarship holder would be able to do his MSc in Osaka University with tuition fees, accomodation fees, air ticket, insurance etc all covered.....it all sounded too good to be true, I noted the deadline and had in mind that i would definitely not miss this application.....and as i was humming my favourite tune while browsing through the requirements, my hopes were crushed brutally when i read this line :

"applicants must be citizens of singapore"

*delete* and then back to reality, indeed, it was too good to be true.....if such good things were to ever happen to me, it would have happened 5 years ago when i did my 0-levels.....it didn't.....

indeed, life isn't fair, is it? count your blessings, you singaporeans.....

lately, i've been asking myself, to my horror, a question that i've never thought i would question myself......

"why study so hard?"

indeed, why? at times, i look at my friends, doing what they judge best on weekends, and all i could do is to just sit in my room, pondering, why am i not part of their weekend lives? am i an outcast ostracized by the norm (as judged by society)? am i too eccentric and aloof that people find me repulsive and weird? or do i truly have chemistry with my textbooks that i am willing to forgo any form of friendship/relationship because of my books?

well of course, i do not like books, i like what comes after the books - a bright future.....then again, is it worth it?

if i could live my life my way without any form of limitations whether financial or parental restrictions, boy, my life would be spicier than spice girl's......

and before i start day dreaming and thus wasting precious time and thus putting my 1 million watts bright future at stake, i'd better be hitting the books now for my microbiology test come wednesday......God bless me this semester......

to my surprise, many ppl actually remembered my birthday, either that or i've been constantly complaining about me getting old on 10 oct, leaving ppl with no choice but to think that i am hinting them to give me a surprise birthday party......in any case, that wasn't my true intention, i was really complaining about me going farther from the figure 20.....

when i went out galavanting on the night of my birthday till 2am, i placed my phone on silent mode for i did not want to think about school work while indulging myself in pure sacred self pleasure.....in case u don't know, my phone rarely rings, and when it does, it's more because of some school or some admin work.....

and so, when i finally finished my self-entertaining activity, i picked up my phone and noticed 7 missed calls and a few messages.....2 surprise birthday parties were awaiting me and i totally let both of them down......

my agenda for my birthday was planned out early, with me going out galavanting alone for i expected no one to remember my birthday.....

but, i had a make up surprise birthday party the following day......*surprise, surprise*

and what can i say about my friends who wrote me the han wern song? and mind you, this song has 2 verses, with a chorus and a bridge......either they are too free, or they really are my true friends......i am convinced, it's the latter......

as i go deep into my mind, recollecting those happy moments i ever had, only one of it happen to be on my birthday.....yeap, my 20th birthday, the day where i had my first birthday party, the first birthday without my parents around......then i thought, this year, it would be like any other year but my 20th, i would be curling up in bed, worrying about my lab report instead of celebrating my birthday.....

guess i was wrong......

in fact, this birthday, i collected a record 3 birthday presents and 3 cakes.....amazing

i may not have great friends whom i click with/who share the same interest, but i definitely have great friends......and yes, i so wanted that harry potter book and now i have to fight the temptation to read it until my exam finishes......

quick quick......before the clock strikes 12, ask me my age, MY AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!, QUICK!!!!

true/false questions :

Grace is 21 years old : TRUE
Han Wern is 23 years old : FALSE
Ketpin is 21 years old : FALSE
Ketpin is 22 years old : STILL FALSE HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Ketpin is 23 years old : NOT IN ANOTHER 4 more months (note : less than 4 months)

mind me of my post immunology CA syndrome......but cause someone has been saying i'm growing old since forever (i'm not pointing fingers, but i'm just going to hint that it's KETPIN, as in CHONG KETPIN, hahahahahhaha), i just have this urge to clarify that i am not OLD.....i'm still growing, as in increase in bone density and muscle mass, hahahha......

argh, the minute hand just MOVED.......