http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/070829/helmsley_s_pooch.html?.v=1

even a dog is richer than me.....gee.....

first step out of my comfort zone (which is not so comfortable after all) : forked out S$40 for a pair of swimming trunks and went swimming at 12noon for the first time in 5 years......yup, that's how long i didn't go into the pool and the reason? ahh well, if u know me well, u should know why......

so going into the pool wasn't that difficult, the difficult part wasn't swimming either, it was the same reason why i didn't go into the pool for 5 years that's bothering me throughout the whole session......ahhh then again, to gain something would mean losing another......

footnote: at 12 noon today, it was cloudy (hahahahahaha.......)
i'm going again tomorrow......

to gain or not to gain : that is the question i'm asking again and again.....
to tan or not to tan : that is the question i'm asking as a man.....

if u don't know my history, here's a brief one :
in dec 2001, after some excessive eating and weighing at a whooping 75kg with minimal muscle mass, i've decided to go anorexic and my weight dropped to 50kg in less than 2 months (bearing in mind that i was 175cm tall at that time).....from then onwards my mum had to force food down my throat literally and my weight was stabilised at 55kg for the next 4 years.....then came university and everyone knew me as that scrawny malaysian whom only snow white can match his fair skin.....

in dec 2001, a drastic step was taken to change my body, in dec 2004, a dractic step was taken to change my skin.....

this year, 2007, a drastic change will happen again (i hope) to change both my body and skin - a heavier me (increase in muscle mass and not lipid mass) and a darker me......

thou shalt wait and see.....for even i know not the future

rag is a word which means different things in malaysia and singapore. simply mention the word rag around NUS, especially in science, u'll get something like science fac science fac pah buay toh ah, ah si lu buay song ah, ka ki ka wa kong ah, science fac si beh hoh ah.....indeed, rag is an experience every freshmen in NUS would remember simply because it is a time where ppl bond by making the float and cheer till your voice gives way on rag day.....if i were to remember only one day of my life in NUS, it would be rag day 2005, when i was still, a freshman.....and i just have to say this : from science fac walks out a winning rag team.....

shifts

mention rag in malaysian local universities, u'll probably be given stares of fear.....some may even go into a state of hysteria, some may even go, what's rag? as they've permanently erased that awful memory through medical technology (not that i know of any but perhaps maybe knocking your head on the wall 10times).....imagine yourself given only one t-shirt, one shorts, one undergarment (and i ain't talking only abt guys) for 1 week.....u eat, shit, sleep with that one and only outfit.....seniors will be carrying your room key, and yes, u don't get to enter your room for 1 week, and u sleep wherever u find comfortable (outside your room perhaps?).....

i'm glad i'm in singapore......
for those in malaysian local uni, u have my sympathy.....while some of us in NUS may complain that one thermocycler per bench (approx 10 students) is too little, those in local malaysian unis only have one miserable thermocycler, and only the lecturer can touch it.....

life isn't fair.....some ppl are born with a platinum(silver just isn't classy enough) spoon in the mouth (don't they ever choke?) and some are just born unnoticed and they will leave unnoticed.....

if i had all the money in the world i would have been a better person.....don't agree with me? see, if i had all the money in the world, i would have bought all my textbooks from the extorting co-op and i would have done it with ease without holding tightly on to my atm card when paying by nets to the staring cashier.....it is just so painful having to sell my concubines after having them for 1 semester and at a cheaper price, well of course, i would certainly keep some of my favourite wives like lodish and lodish alone, hahaha.....

if i had all the money in the world i would be learning french, german, vietnamese, spanish and japanese all at one go, and seriously, DO NOT doubt my ability to handle so many languages at one go, i can really do it, if, and only if, i had the money.....

as much as i would like to curl up in a corner and indulge in self pity (yes, indulge, i like being miserable), my inner self refuse to give up.....i may not be born with the platinum spoon in my mouth, but i will one day have the platinum spoon in my hand and one thing for sure is that i will never get choked......

i can't believe it! seriously, i am dumbfounded, it is unbelievable!

i'm speechless, don't know what to say.....

don't ask me why, cause u would probably be as astonished as me, and it lasts for a few minutes......

p/s : i still can't believe it!

the start of the semester and i'm already saying goodbye? that weird uneasy feeling that i felt 3 months ago when the sem ended is here again, but the irony is that it's happening too soon at the beginning of the semester.....i'm saying goodbye to 3 special friends whom i've gotten quite close to since the beginning of last sem......one will be flying to US in 6hrs, another is already in NZ and the last one, probably the most unfortunate of all, shifted hall and the probability of meeting up again would be close to impossible.....u see, humans are weird, remember my post on human to human relationship? no matter how close a friend can be, once separated, it's all goodbye.....i just don't understand.....we're not as close as i thought we were.....we were just, plain friends, friends who know each other for that short period in our journey of life.....indeed, life is a journey, not a destination, full of punctuations and paragraphs......

this semester a new paragraph starts, a new han wern, a stronger weRnism, a greater dream, a bigger hope but the same destination and goal.....i will be stronger than before......

someone (or some people) once told me that money can't buy happiness.....ie money can't buy health la, money can't buy relationship la, money can't buy true friendship la, maney can't buy time la etc etc etc......my question is, what buys health? what buys relationship? what buys friendship? what buys time?

health : one famous saying-u can't bring your assets to your coffin - true, but, money can delay your time for u to enter the coffin.....money CAN buy health......haven't u heard of news where hospitals deny DYING patients their right to live by delaying their surgery unless they pay the deposit?

relationship : they say money can't buy love.....seriously, i don't need any.....i now believe i can live on my own

true friendship : i'm not telling u to buy friends with your money, it's disgusting itself in nature.....but really, who, in this world would say that i will die if i could save my friend(s), if u could, may i know u? great friends are hard to come by, great friends whom u click with are almost impossible to find, and this, i have found out the hard way.....

time : haven't u heard of the phrase, time is money? and if i had money, who needs time?

money, that's all i need.....